Welcome! I’m glad you found me. Thanks for your interest in my book.
I am writing this on my laptop computer as my father, wrapped in a soft blanket and sitting in a chair by the fireplace at my family’s cottage, whistles along with Frank Sinatra’s recording of “Wee Small Hours of The Morning.” Three and a half years later, it still feels like a gift to be with him.
Measure of the Heart began as a kind of therapy for me. After leaving my broadcasting job in New York City to come home to help my mother, Rosemary, take care of my father, Woody, I began to write journal pieces in the middle of the night. I wrote about the way my mother’s tireless commitment had kept my father happy, comfortable and functioning in society after being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 1994; about how he continued to perform with his a capella group, remembering the words and his baritone part to almost every song he had ever sung; about the amusing new ways he used language; and about the marvelous coping mechanisms my father relied upon to maneuver through his new world. I also wanted to record my mother and father’s great love, which helped them both survive this difficult time in their lives.
I wanted to write to work through the sorrow, too: for instance, the day my father turned to me and asked, “Are you the youngest one?” That’s when I realized he no longer knew which of his three daughters I was. I trained myself not to grieve in these moments, but to take them as an opportunity to tell him about my life. My mother and I created an unusual caregiving team. We developed our own form of talk therapy, physical therapy, and music therapy to keep my father in this world.
My book chronicles this unexpected time in my life: a leap of faith that not only helped my father and my mother, but helped me to find the depths of my own emotional life along the way.
One major discovery I stumbled upon: by coming home to help take care of my father, I had joined a community of people who are doing the same thing. Many do not have the resources I have, and their lives are much more difficult than mine. There are millions of us across the United States. I hope my book comforts them and inspires anyone facing a loved one’s chronic illness.
But I believe this book isn’t just for caregivers. It’s also about a journey that I am hoping many of you will be willing to take: to follow your heart, no matter where it leads, even if it leads you back home.
I hope you will share some of your journeys with me. I may not be able to answer every e-mail, but I am hoping, in the future, we can keep in touch through this website.
Enjoy the book!
Mary Ellen
